If I Die Before I Wake: A Memoir of Drinking and Recovery

Brenda Wilhelmson was like a lot of women in her neighborhood. She had a husband and two children. She was educated and made a good living as a writer. She had a vibrant social life with a tight circle of friends. She could party until dawn and take her children to school the next day. From the outside, she appeared to have it all together. But, in truth, alcohol was slowly taking over, turning her world on its side.

Waking up to another hangover, growing tired of embarrassing herself in front of friends and family, and feeling important moments slip away, Brenda made the most critical decision of her life: to get sober. She kept a diary of her first year (and beyond) in recovery, chronicling the struggles of finding a meeting she could look forward to, relating to her fellow alcoholics, and finding a sponsor with whom she connected. Along the way, she discovered the challenges and pleasures of living each day without alcohol, navigating a social circle where booze is a centerpiece, and dealing with her alcoholic father's terminal illness and denial.

Brenda Wilhelmson's Diary of an Alcoholic Housewife offers insight, wisdom, and relevance for readers in recovery, as well as their loved ones, no matter how long they've been sober.

The heady, drug-induced decades of the sixties and seventies provide the backdrop for this all-star account of addiction and recovery. Among the celebrities interviewed by Gary Stromberg for The Harder They Fall are comedian Richard Lewis; musicians Alice Cooper, Grace Slick, Dr. John, and Chuck Negron (Three Dog Night); actors Malcolm McDowell and Mariette Hartley; Pulitzer Prize-winning poet Franz Wright; writer Anne Lamott; and athletes Doc Ellis and Gerry Cooney. The good news? All are recovering and leading lives of extraordinary accomplishment.

"My own disease would like to tell you that my 'isms' are now my 'wasims.' But as this book reads, it's an ongoing process that leads to the sweetest spirituality. My hat's off and great kudos to those who share their story like it is for those of us who still need to hear it." -Steven Tyler - Aerosmith

"Read this book! Here are the real winners in life. The best and the brightest with devastating illnesses, living clean, sober, confident, happy lives. If you want to know about alcoholism and addiction and how to get "weller than well," read this book." Capt. Ronald E. Smith - Chairman of the Dept. of Psychiatry, National Naval Medical Center and for twelve years the Psychiatric Consultant to the U S Congress

"Here are the stories of twenty-one celebrities who had everything until their abusive chemicals showed them that, at the bottom, they had nothing at all. These pioneers in the modern drug abuse epidemic eventually each found their way into recovery, even redemption. These inspiring stories tell of the joy of finding a way of being that is more precious than fame and fortune." Robert L. DuPont, M.D. - White House Drug Czar for President Nixon and Ford (1973 to 1977), author of The Selfish Brain