Journal of a Schoolyard Bully - Notes on Noogies, Wet Willies, and Wedgies

Do you need something? Mac can get it for you. It's what he does—he and his best friend and business manager, Vince. Their methods might sometimes run afoul of the law, or at least the school code of conduct, but if you have a problem, if no one else can help, and if you can pay him, Mac is on your side. His office is located in the East Wing boys' bathroom, fourth stall from the high window. And business is booming.

Or at least it was, until one particular Monday. It starts with a third grader in need of protection. And before this ordeal is over, it's going to involve a legendary high school crime boss named Staples, an intramural gambling ring, a graffiti ninja, the nine most dangerous bullies in school, and the first Chicago Cubs World Series game in almost seventy years. And that's just the beginning. Mac and Vince soon realize that the trouble with solving everyone else's problems is that there's no one left to solve yours.

Humpty Dumpty Jr. has always gotten the bad guy. Always. Except once, when the case got too personal. You know that case. The one about his Dad...

And now, a frantic call for help tells him that someone is making it personal again. "Johnny" Cakes, a two-bit pancake punk, has escaped from jail. And Patty, of the famous (and delicious) Pat-A-Cake Bakery, has disappeared. Could "Johnny" Cakes be behind it? Whoever kidnapped Patty better watch out; Humpty is no soft-cooked Egg. He is 100% Hardboiled.

From the (fairly) scrambled minds of three acclaimed children's writers and illustrators comes a hilarious new detective who always cracks the case. Set on the grimy streets of New Yolk City, where the Queen of Hearts lives in Queens (where else?), the adventures of Humpty Dumpty Jr. are sure to delight early and chapter-book readers alike. This is the start of a very funny, totally action-packed new series no one will want to miss!

"Once Upon a Crime:
There was a detective. Me.

Humpty Dumpty Jr., Hardboiled Detective. I'm a good egg who always cracks the case. One morning, sitting at my desk, I watched the sun rise out my grimy window. Dawn light played peek-a-boo through the tall skyscrapers of the gritty city.

My city.
New Yolk City."

Is it time to pause for breath? No because there's also Streaker the dog, indoor pirates, trolls and superheroes AND karate kicking and time-travelling AND mad grannies and so much more.

Featuring a brand new short-story by Jeremy, the Laugh-Your-Socks-Off Joke Book is jam-packed with jokes, quizzes,puzzles and games, plus extracts from all your favourite stories.

Warning! No Knock-knock's were used in the making of this book.