Love on a Rotten Day - An Astrological Survival Guide to Romance

It's time to forget those traditional astrology books where Sagittarians are gregarious, Capricorns are ambitious, and Pisceans are dreamers. Instead, enter a world where Archers are loud-mouthed bores, Goats are pompous social climbers, and Fish are chronically helpless. Dixon-Cooper debunks the myths, reveals the flaws, and examines the dubious virtues of each sun sign. Discover how to use your own inner brat to outwit bullies, outmaneuver manipulators, and win those endless games that lovers play. Learn how to deal with those dysfunctional people you encounter every day, including how to:

• contain a Ram's oversized ego

• calm a raging Bull

• keep a fickle Twin faithful

Have you ever longed to get a chatty Gemini to stop talking and start kissing? Do you wish you could lure that shy Cancer out of his shell and into your bedroom? What's the best way to coax a fun-loving Sagittarius into getting serious between the sheets? Wonder no more -- Sexscopes reveals the secrets to seducing the object of your desire based simply on his or her astrological sign, regardless of gender or sexual orientation.

Sexscopes exposes each sign's sexual proclivities and pet peeves, providing tips and tricks for attracting a particular sun sign. For instance, did you know that Virgos are turned on by class, while Taureans get excited by cash? That Capricorns like to dominate, while Pisceans love to be possessed? That Scorpios get off on giving orgasms, while Arians prefer to get them? The sexual landscape of every sign is explicitly explored in tantalizing detail, including:

• Pick-up lines that actually work

• Erogenous zones, and how to work them

• Compatibility ratings between each sign, in and out of bed

• Favorite sexual positions, sex toys, flavors -- and more!

Your Moon sign reveals more about you than your Sun Sign. Discover how to harmonize your emotions. This book takes the guess work out of relating to others and brings a greater perspective to what to do and what not to do in situations that require "Moon Control". Get Mooned, find out why Scorpio Moon loves a good mystery and why an Aries Moon doesn't like you eating off their plate, though a Taurus Moon will. Learn how to relate to those "Bad Moon Risings". For all the Gemini Moons who enjoy testing their knowledge; there's a quiz at the end of the book.

He's Just Not in the Stars is a sinful combination of He's Just Not That into You, Sex and the City, and The Secret Language of Birthdays. If all is fair in love and war, this is the right ammunition. . . .

Hindsight is 20/20. Love is blind. With all that good and bad vision out there, who's gonna give you some serious insight?

Sex columnist and love astrology expert Jenni Kosarin is taking names and kicking astrological butt. . . . Flirt. Crush. Boyfriend. Ex-boyfriend. Husband. Whatever. What's his potential? What's he looking for? How do you fix things once you've messed up? Which sign will give you another chance and which won't? Find out his idiosyncrasies before you date him. Find out who's ready for a relationship and who'll still be hanging out in twentysomething bars in fifteen years. (Uh. Creepy.)

Here, get the scoop on how your man stacks up. Decipher. Crack the code. Get stellar advice.

The concept is revolutionary: Combine his Sun Sign with his Venus. That's all. No "rising signs," no tricking his mother into telling you what time he was born. No cookie-cutter generalizations. This book is frighteningly specific. Filled with sixty easy-to-follow combos, it's illustrated with ironic, gossip-filled, shocking real-life examples of famous celebs such as:

• Colin Firth (Virgo, Venus in Libra): Virgo + Libra = sexy and subtle combo
• Orlando Bloom (Capricorn, Venus in Pisces): Capricorn is all for security, Pisces is a full-on romantic = good guy
• Chris Rock (Aquarius, Venus in Capricorn): Aquarius can be about partnership when Capricorn grounds it
• Ethan Hawke (Scorpio, Venus in Scorpio): Ladykiller double sign combo
• Antonio Banderas (Leo, Venus in Virgo): Hint: the Virgo makes him stay

. . . plus many, many others. By defining him in a way that's never been done before, He's Just Not in the Stars gives it to you straight. No tiptoeing around. No hugging and sharing. No coddling. Deal with it.

(Cue drum roll.) This is for the woman who wants to take charge of her own destiny. Is he in the stars? Time won't tell. Jenni Kosarin will.

He's Just Not in the Stars is the last hip, irreverent relationship book you'll ever want. Throw away the rest . . .

They're taking up space where your happily married pictures should go.