Murder Gets a Life

Practical Patricia Anne has put away her aunt-of-the-bride blue chiffon and settled back into domesticity when fun-loving Mary Alice calls to say they have a post-wedding date with a genealogist from the groom's side of the family. Lunch is a fascinating lesson on the hazards of finding dirty linens in ancestral boudoirs that ends abruptly when their guest scurries off with the local judge, leaving the sisters with their mouths open -- and finishing their luncheon companion's cheesecake -- when the police arrive.

Their mysterious guest has taken a plunge from the ninth floor of the courthouse building -- an apparent suicide. But given the scandals a nosy genealogist might have uncovered, the sisters are betting that some proud Southern family is making sure their shameful secrets stay buried. . .along with anyone who tries to dig them up.

Mary Alice loses no time in making the acquaintance of just about everyone in sight, so watching the sun go down on the beautiful shores of the Gulf of Mexico is a welcome respite as far as Patricia Anne is concerned. . .until a dead body washes up in the waves and the victim turns out to be one of Mary Alice's newfound friends. With no witnesses t the crime except a few great blue herons, the sisters have no choice but to bypass the clueless police and follow their own instinct to find the killer. Before long they_re on a murky trail of dirty real-estate deals, giant turtle habitats, and a sea of evidence pointing to a mammoth motive for murderer.

Patricia Anne -- "Mouse" -- is respectful, respectable, and demure, a perfect example of genteel Southern womanhood. Mary Alice -- "Sister" -- is big, brassy, flamboyant, and bold. Together they have a knack for finding themselves in the center of some of Birmingham's most unfortunate unpleasantness.

Country Western is red hot these days, so overimpulsive Mary Alice thinks it makes perfect sense to buy the Skoot 'n' Boot bar -- since that's where the many-times-divorced "Sister" and her boyfriend du jour like to hang out anyway. Sensible retired schoolteacher Patricia Anne is inclined to disagree -- especially when they find a strangled and stabbed dead body dangling in the pub's wishing well. The sheriff has some questions for Mouse and her sister Sister, who were the last people, besides the murderer, of course, to see the ill-fated victim alive. And they had better come up with some answers soon -- because a killer with unfinished business has begun sending them some mighty threatening messages...

Oversized, outrageous Mary Alice and her prim sister Patricia Anne have been looking forward to the gala benefit being staged to raise money for the restoration of Vulcan, Birmingham's ever-tarnishing unnatural wonder. And what a show it is, with a grand finale that has thirty sequined Elvis impersonators high-kicking in unison! From the front row, "Mouse" and "Sister" have a perfect view of the action when one of the dancing Kings keels over dead into the bandstand. This Elvis clone has not only left the building ... he's left this life, courtesy of a switchblade knife in the back. And when the murder weapon turns up in Patricia Anne's very sensible purse, the perennially law-abiding "Mouse" is understandably all shook up. Suspicious minds have her pegged as the prime suspect in this bizarre case of Elvis elimination. And if she doesn't do some serious sleuthing, she could end up doing the Jailhouse Rock!

Though unalike as snowflakes, sisters Patricia Anne and Mary Alice share a sympathetic heart for their distraught cousin Luke -- known affectionately in his boyhood as "Pukey Lukey," because of his penchant for getting sick in moving vehicles. Luke is desperate to hunt down Virginia, his wife of forty years, who has run off with a housepainter/snake-handling preacher named "Monk." And the sisters have graciously agreed to accompany their stricken kinsman on his search...in Luke's car, of course.

But, while practical "Mouse" and flamboyant "Sister" are unable to find their runaway cousin-in-law among the asp-loving faithful on Chandler Mountain, they do manage to stumble upon the corpse of a pretty young redhead who was prematurely sent to her eternal reward. And before you can say "anaconda," they are hot on the serpentine trail of a killer who'd like nothing better than to sink a pair of poisonous fangs into two meddling Southern sisters!

Patricia Anne would swear that either she or her sister Mary Alice were switched at birth, except they were both born at home.Flashy, flirtatious Mary Alice is one foot taller, twice the body weight of Patricia Anne, and three times as likely to do something completely off the wall. But now Mary Alice's impulsive behavior has land them both in the Birmingham jail!

Bed-and-breakfast hostess Judith McMonigle and her policeman beau Joe Flynn hgave finally gotten hitched-and they're off on a sunny honeymoon to beautiful Buccaneer Beach.But an unfortunate confrontation with a dune buggy run amok puts hubby Joe in hospital traction-leaving his beleaguered blushing bride stranded in paradise with a bad case of ennui by the sea. Luckily irrepressible cousin Renie has selflessly agreed to keep Judith company. And when the landlady of their cozy, costly cottage by the shore turns up dead in their living room, the cousins suddenly have a murderous mystery to keep them afloat. Rumors of a fortune in buried pirate gold add spice to their adventure. But digging up both a treasure and a killer is dirty business-and Judith and Renie might end up digging their own graves.

Retirement Can Be Murder is the first in the Baby Boomer mystery series featuring Carol Andrews and Her Beloved Husband Jim as they navigate a rocky road toward their golden years.

Carol dreads Jim's upcoming retirement more than a root canal without Novocain. She can't imagine anything worse than an at-home husband with time on his hands, and nothing to fill it, except interfering with the day-to-day activities of the household and driving her crazy. Until Jim is suspected of murdering his retirement coach.

There's snow place like homicide

B&B hostess Judith McMonigle Flynn's ready to hang up her oven mitts, but irrepressible Cousin Renie needs help catering the telephone company's annual winter retreat at secluded Mountain Goat Lodge. The pay's good, the scenery's to die for -- but they never figured there'd be a killer cooking up mischief among this innocuous stew of corporate-climbing phone company ding-a-lings. Unfortunately, Judith and Renie's discovery of the frozen garroted remains of the previous company caterer -- missing since last year's shindig -- suggests no less, since the same cast of characters is present this time around. It's Dial "M" for Mountain Goat Murder, and a storm's blowing in to boot -- leaving Judith and Renie stranded with ten suspects and a corpses...and with nothing better to do than to reach out and touch a killer who's like nothing better than to put two inquisitive cousins in the Deep Freeze.