Start with No - The Negotiating Tools that the Pros Don't Want You to Know

Think win-win is the best way to make the deal? Think again. It’s the worst possible way to get the best deal. This is the dirty little secret of corporate America.

For years now, win-win has been the paradigm for business negotiation—the “fair” way for all concerned. But don’t believe it. Today, win-win is just the seductive mantra used by the toughest negotiators to get the other side to compromise unnecessarily, early, and often. Have you ever heard someone on the other side of the table say, “Let’s team up on this, partner”? It all sounds so good, but these negotiators take their naive “partners” to the cleaners, deal after deal. Start with No shows you how they accomplish this. It shows you how such negotiations end up as win-lose. It exposes the scam for what it really is. And it guarantees that you’ll never be a victim again.

Win-win plays to your emotions. It takes advantage of your instinct and desire to make the deal. Start with No teaches you how to understand and control these emotions. It teaches you how to ignore the siren call of the final result, which you can’t really control, and how to focus instead on the activities and behavior that you can and must control in order to negotiate with the pros.

Start with No introduces a system of decision-based negotiation. Never again will you be out there on a wing and a prayer. Never again will you feel out of control. Never again will you compromise unnecessarily. Never again will you lose a negotiation.
The best negotiators:
* aren’t interested in “yes”—they prefer “no”
* never, ever rush to close, but always let the other side feel comfortable and secure
* are never needy; they take advantage of the other party’s neediness
* create a “blank slate” to ensure they ask questions and listen to the answers, to make sure they have no assumptions and expectations
* always have a mission and purpose that guides their decisions
* don’t send so much as an e-mail without an agenda for what they want to accomplish
* know the four “budgets” for themselves and for the other side: time, energy, money, and emotion
* never waste time with people who don’t really make the decision

Start with No offers a contrarian, counterintuitive system for negotiating any kind of deal in any kind of situation—the purchase of a new house, a multimillion-dollar business deal, or where to take the kids for dinner. It is full of dozens of business as well as personal stories illustrating each point of the system. It will change your life as a negotiator. If you put to good use the principles and practices revealed here, you will become an immeasurably better negotiator.


From the Hardcover edition.