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Peggy S. Baltimore LCSW, December 2012
This book helps children and their parents who are having conflict during divorce and after divorce that places the child in loyalty binds. Many children feel pressured to take sides between their parents, leaving them feeling disloyal to one and unsure what to believe. The child experiences many feelings, including confusion, sadness, anger and worry. Yet, their feelings often go unheard, denied, or minimized.
The book follows two siblings through their experience of learning the ways they are caught-in-the-middle, and how they can communicate their true feelings and needs. One child has worry and the other acts out in response to the loyalty binds. When the parents realize their needs, professional help is sought and the family begins to find ways to change.
Children who engage in play therapy will relate to the siblings’ progress in exploring their feelings and their experience of being stuck in taking sides. All children who read the book will find reassurance that they can develop the skills to stay out of the middle.
Children will learn how they can protect their personal boundary by developing their ability to assert their point of view. They will be shown how to ask for what they need and stand up for their rights and not take sides.
The book follows the divorced parents through their effort to better understand their children’s needs. The parents engage in parent coordination with a professional. They learn how to keep their focus on their children rather than on their conflict.
Co-parenting is successfully accomplished and the children’s problems with worry and anger is resolved.
The book has child-friendly text and the illustrations are depicted by live-actors, along with two therapists. This book is ideally suited for children ages 7 and over and is written for children to read alone or with their parent or helper.
Parents who are divorcing or who are experiencing on-going conflict post-divorce will find this book an invaluable resource in helping their children. Parents will learn ways to decrease the pressure on their children and to have better parenting between their child’s two homes.
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